An engine purrs beneath my butt
the car is stopped in a parking lot
rain on the windshield is blurring
brick buildings into brown swirls

The world turns and the day of my birth is a house
through the backseat window I am watching
it grow smaller, until most of what I see
is just imagination

and someone I don’t know keeps driving

Another Very Old Poem

In Places No One Goes

The setting sun brings a man
Laden down with dreams
A bag unopened
The strings unbroken
He drops it by for me

Oh what’s inside I do not know
It’s different every day
So down it goes
My mind is blown
And I’m quickly on my way

Horizons switch and seasons mix
Another world I see
The light entices
The sun now rises
And shines her rays on me

It’s time to walk, and look around
To see what I can find
The pines up high
Poke through the sky
And tell me that it’s time

For what I ask, is this new task
That you have given me
It’s up to space
A celestial place
With orders from the trees

Among the orbs I dance and play
Frolic in the stars
The planets bounce
And I lose count
My favorite trip by far

Off to worlds where no one’s been
I am swiftly taken
To swim in seas
And feel the breeze
Of planets long forsaken

To roll in fields of golden grass
Feel it in my toes
All alone
But quite at home
In places no one goes

And on my back, I watch the clouds
That float across the sky
In the form
Of violent storms
That play out before my eyes

As hours elapse, the clouds collapse
And turn to constellations
That no one’s seen
Except for me
The fuel of my elation

The sun has set, not in the west
Like each one I ever saw
The universe
Is truly versed
At mixing up her laws

And I realize that I’ve grown tired
From journeys in the void
My body shakes
And my mind aches
But still I’m overjoyed

And then I think of my own bed
The place where I belong
So down to earth
For what it’s worth
Where sleep is my sweet song

Deus Ex Machina

When the bullet met the bone, it didn’t bother saying hello. Just went right on in, found a nice squishy spot and got comfortable.
“Hello?” The bullet’s question echoed in the soft dark.
“Well, hi there,” replied the brain. “Go ahead and make yourself at home, why don’t you?”
“Sure thing. I need to cool off a bit. A cold glass of water please?”
“Screw you. Go back where you came from and put those skull fragments where you found them.” They were scattered around inside the brain.
“Well now,” began the bullet, “that’s going to be difficult. I can’t really go back. I’ve been kicked out of my home. It wasn’t a good fit.”
“Look… if you don’t leave, I’ll call the police.” The brain was beginning to get a bit dizzy; lots of blood was rushing out the front.
“What for? Please let me stay the night and I’ll put everything back exactly the way it was,” the bullet pleaded.
At that moment, a giant latexed finger covered the hole and a pair of tweezers entered.
“Damnit,” screamed the brain. “Doesn’t anyone knock anymore?”
“Our apologies, but we heard there was an unwanted bullet here,” said the tweezers.
“Who says I’m unwanted? I want to be here,” cried the bullet.
“It’s time to go. We can do this one of two ways.” The tweezers sent a cold, steely glare at the bullet.
The bullet sunk as far back into the brain as it could, but the tweezers were long and strong. With a firm grip on the suspect, they removed him without further incident.
“We’ll be back in a minute to pick up those skull fragments,” chirped the tweezers.
The bullet’s trial is pending.

A Very Old Poem

The Day That Death Came Knocking

I know that you remember
The day that Death came knocking
And you told him to turn around
And just to keep on walking

Well it turns out, he wasn’t pleased
With the way that he was treated
So now he’s back to try again
And not to be defeated

So here he comes, a second time
He’s walking up the stairs
This time he doesn’t stop to knock
I guess he doesn’t care

Now Death is here, once again
And he’s itchin’ to collect
It’s way too late to sell your soul
‘Cause now he wants respect

And he just walked in the front
With a long black cloak and grin
“A spot in Hell’s been saved for you
So now I’m comin’ in”

What Death don’t know, won’t hurt Death
And he’ll never know what hit him
‘Cause you were just behind the door
And struck when he walked in

His smile slowly faded
As he crumpled to the floor
The frying pan had struck its mark
As deadly as a sword

And now he’s out, just lying there
He didn’t make a sound
And you my man, you got him good
And placed him on the ground

A simple mistake that Death did make
Was to think that you’re a hider
But when in fact, he should know better
Because clearly you’re a fighter

A Silly Story

The rhino just wanted a kiss, but the earthworm said, “You have a sharp object on your face.

“I can’t help it,” said the rhino, “I was born this way.”

Under the Serengetti sun, there was an awkward silence.  Then the Earth dried out and cracked open, forcing the earthworm to flee her home.  She didn’t have any friends, so she asked the rhino for help.

“You can stay in the folds of my skin,” he said.  “It will keep you cool.”  He was still hoping for that kiss.  With the earthworm nestled into a skin-crease, just below his front left shoulder, the rhino began a tour of the African Continent – from Cape Town, to Kilimanjaro, to Cairo and the Nile Delta, all the while, still hoping for that kiss. 

When they reached Egypt, the Rhino said, “I can’t go any further.  Wikipedia says that rhinos only live in Africa and Southeast Asia.”

The earthworm crawled out of the skin fold, slid down the Rhino’s nose and kissed him square on the lips.

“Just because you read it on the internet doesn’t mean it’s true,” she whispered.

It took the rhino ten whole minutes to swim across the Mediterranean Sea and into Europe.  He received strange looks in all the major cities, but he didn’t mind, because he could feel the earthworm, snugged just below his front left shoulder.  In Paris, a man captured the rhino and put him in a cage.  It took three weeks, but the earthworm eventually dug a hole large enough for the rhino to escape.  There was a high speed police chase in which the rhino and the earthworm became cornered at the top of the Eiffel Tower.  There were helicopters and news cameras and a whole crowd of people.  Just as the SWAT team closed in, the earthworm kissed the rhino again. “I love you,” she said.  The rhino grew a pair of wings and together, they went off into space. 

And if you, dear reader, ever find yourself on the iced moon of Jupiter, known as Europa, look closely; it is inhabited by the kindest, most gentle and loving creatures in the universe: rhinoworms. 



A House

A house filled with water, sealed, like a brick water-balloon with sharp corners and a monthly mortgage. A dolphin swims down the stairs and into the kitchen where a young boy opens a can of ravioli. The boy sees his reflection in the smooth, squeaky skin of the dolphin. There is an older boy in the yard calling your name, says the dolphin. We fought on the playground today, says the boy. The dolphin opens the door to meet him, but the water rushes out and the older boy is drowned.

Traffic Lights (proposed rule change for NASCAR)

I was watching NASCAR at a bar the other day.  Normally, I would never watch NASCAR, but it was what was on the T.V..  I thought about how great it would be if NASCAR made a rule change and installed traffic lights on the course.  The lights would randomly change from Red to Green, no Yellows.  There would be no pattern to the changing; drivers would not be able to time it.  For every Red light that a driver runs, he shall be assessed a 500 dollar fine after the race and 10 seconds shall be added to his final driving time.  I would like to see just one race in my lifetime with this rule.  Perhaps it would make the sport appear more practical, as if the traffic lights would make NASCAR jump off the track and into the living room, saying: “Hey Kids – If you ever find yourself driving really fast, and you have to stop for traffic lights, here’s how its done”.  No one ever runs from the cops on a circular race track!